Blessed

It has been eight months since my heart attack and seven months since I had my two stents implanted in two arteries. Even though I passed my yearly physical with flying colors, had two follow up stress tests that have gone well, there are days that I feel depressed, lonely, and filled with unsettling questions. Am I going to see all three of my children graduate high school, college, or walk my two daughters down the aisle, and grow old with my wife? On a daily basis, what is that twinge in my left arm? Why am I more tired today than yesterday? Is today the day I fall down in a heap and will exist in this life no more? These questions hang heavy on my mind... Fortunately, I have my daily run. Each day I run I am reminded of who I am and what I was created to be, a man in motion. When I run I am free to question God and not be disturbed to hear his gentle quiet voice calm my anxiety. When I run I feel the pleasure of the simple joy of my body moving with all systems of my cardio-vascular network flowing with life. When I run my mind is free to focus on all the beautiful blessings that I have been given in my life through my wife, children, family and friends. When I run I celebrate the life I am living in the moment of the present as the past and future are non-entities since it is only the now that matters when one is in motion. Depression, anxiety and worries melt in the sweat that drips from my body and I am reminded that the best thing in life is simply giving the best that you have for that day. When I run, I am blessed. I don't really know what the future holds for me. My last stress test showed no decrease in blood flow, but a mild weakness. What this means, I don't know and will not have a clue until I meet with my cardiologist next week, but I do know this...when I lace up to go run I will be free to be who I am. My heart will pump harder and faster. My head will clear. I will hear God's voice. I will focus on what is good in my life. And when I finish my run I will be filled with a feeling that all is going to be ok in life because I have lived a blessed running life. As always, stay healthy, keep running, and I hope you have a blessed day too!

Second Wind

On Monday morning, November 7 at approximately 9:00 am I received the news that has since changed the course of how I will live the rest of my days on earth, I was having a heart attack. With a deep family history, on both sides, of coronary artery disease I knew the day would come, I just did not expect it to arrive at the age of 44. Fortunately, I am well aware of my family history and having spent the last 30 years in this wonderful, crazy life known as being a runner, I got to the emergency room quickly and my heart suffered no damage. As scary as the situation was, I still swelled up with pride as the various nurses and technicians asked, "Are you a runner?" I love it, even facing an uncertain future, possibly death, I smiled as others recognized my body and spirit has been chiseled from thousands upon thousands of miles out on the roads, trails and track.

On December 2 I had two stents placed in my two 80% blocked coronary arteries and have begun the long process of becoming a runner again. On Christmas morning I gave myself the best gift I could receive and jogged 2 miles. It was the sweetest two mile jog I have ever ran. As the crisp December morning filled my lungs, my legs ached from too much time laying around watching the boob tube and my mind raced, acutely aware of every beat of my heart wondering if this is too soon to try and run? As I circled the track, my anxiety melted away as that old familiar sense of pleasure of being in motion engulfed my body and I let my mind drift off into the past, remembering all of you have made this such an incredible journey so far and I simply ran.

There is an old term in distance running called second wind. This term is used to describe that feeling that a runner gets after suffering through a tough run where they feel that they can no longer keep going and are about to throw in the towel and all of a sudden catch a burst of energy and their strength is renewed. Personally, I always thought this was a bunch of hogwash. A properly trained runner knows he is going to hit some rough patches in training or a race and that you just have to suck it up and keep going. Sometimes you are going to get through it and feel fine and other times, well, you are just going to feel like crap, that's running and racing. The question is, how are you going to handle it? Are you going to suck it up? There is no second wind, just mental toughness and the willingness to keep running.

My heart attack is just a rough patch that I am facing, so the question is, am I going to throw in the towel and step off the track or suck it up? Well, I have thrown in the towel before and there is no feeling worse than stepping off the track and watching the other runners keep going by...so I only see one option, suck it up. I'm a runner. This means that I have to do things that sometimes are not very fun or that I don't want to, but in order for me to improve as an athlete, are vital to my success. For me, running is not enough to maintain a healthy heart. I have to give up some of my favorite foods: bacon, butter, ice cream, large greasy burgers and gallons of coffee at a time. Not only do I have to restrict my diet, but I also have to take a plethora of medications that are going to affect my ability to run fast. I now have to run with a heart rate monitor to gauge my level of exertion and carry a cell phone. This of course is God's sense of humor at work, since I used to make fun of people running with all their gadgets and now I have no choice but to run with them. But, I am going to suck it up and run. In a few minutes I am going to lace up my new Brooks running shoes, strap on my heart rate monitor, slip on my nifty little cell phone arm band, take a long deep breath of January fog laced air, smile, a deep satisfying smile, thank God that I am still here and get to do what few people get to do, enjoy that one passion that I have pursued for the past 30 years...I am going to run!

As always, stay healthy, keep running and most of all, enjoy each and every step of today's run.

The Day After...

Growing up in the 80's our U.S. History teacher made us watch this horrible film about Nuclear War called the Day After. Freaking gave me nightmares for months. Seriously, who wanted to be left in a world of Nuclear Winter, people with hideous sores from radiation, with all of us just waiting for Mad Maxx to show up! Man, there were so many post-apocalyptic movies that we were all sure Gorbachev was going to drop the big one any moment. But now that I am older, I no longer squeamish from having nightmares of body parts falling off due to radiation poison, but the day after still lingers.

Now the day after refers to that dreaded day after I have done something I was not quite ready to do, like run a fartlek with crazy, hormonal teenage boys who have to run around in the shower just to get wet. Man, the old fat man was keeping up just fine during the work-out, but holy stinking cow! I must have awakened at least half dozen time last night with my calves, feet and for crying out loud, my toes! My toes were cramping up! How in the world does one get a cramp in the big toe? Then when I got out of bed I practically needed a walker to get to the bathroom. This is not good.

All day I hobbled around with a sore groin. Men should not strain their groin. It takes the swagger out of your step. Even when I tried to pull it off as doing my best John Wayne imitation, I looked more like a whooped dog with his tail tucked so far up, he stumbles just to stay upright. At least my voice didn't go up three octaves or else I would have had a lot of explaining to do. But thank goodness the afternoon came and I was able to gingerly stretch out the old white limbs and loosen up with a few miles. So here is hoping the day after, will be a better day than today. Frankly, I think I would have preferred the post-apocalyptic sores and mutants.

As always, stay healthy, keep running...but run with people your own age!

Day 1 of 146

Tonight's blog is going to be short and sweet, but today was officially day 1 of my training of 146 more days to follow until the Napa Marathon on March 4, 2012. Yup, the old boy is going to do it! It is time to saddle up, lace up and put in some serious mileage to conquer the rolling hills of Calistoga and Napa to qualify for the Boston Marathon in 2013.

Today's work-out was a basic fartlek I like to call the Big Mac. Although, I tweaked it a little by taking off some of the secret sauce, pickle and onions, and ran three minutes hard at 90% with a two minutes rest, then three times one minute with a one minute rest, another three minutes hard, two minute rest, another three times a minute, with, that's right, you guessed it, one minute rest followed with a final three minutes hard. With warm up and cool down it came to seven miles. A good solid effort with my high school boys team. Tomorrow will hopefully be a set of double fives and then an easy seven on Wednesday.

Well the old bones are tired and five o'clock comes pretty darn early, so it is off to dream of fast times. As always, stay healthy and keep running.

Here I Go Again!

No, I am not conjuring up my best David Coverdale, although, if my wife did want to do a sexy little dance on the hood of our car I could go with that! But Whitesnake aside, it is hard to believe that the last time I posted was back in May. It has been a wild roller-coaster of a ride over the past few months. A strained neck, a huge skin cancer removed from my forehead, new orthotics to deal with my nagging plantar fasciitis, and a very slow, slow, slow 5k in which I finally wore the ol' red, white and blue in a last place finish at the World Masters Championships. But the good news, I'm healthy again and running.

Which leads to why I am blogging again, it is time to start getting after some of those running bucket list goals I set last year. Even though it was ugly, I still crossed one off this past summer with wearing that uber cool Nike USA uni going round and round with twenty-something other guys from all over the world on a hot July night at Sacramento City College. With that one scratched off the list, the next item will be getting a Boston Marathon qualifying time. Which means, I am now training to run the Napa Marathon in March. So stay tuned for I am about to venture back into that blister on the big toe, chub rub, and nipple chaffing world of marathon running...why? Because, as sick as it sounds, this is fun!
(To Be Continued...)