Blessed

It has been eight months since my heart attack and seven months since I had my two stents implanted in two arteries. Even though I passed my yearly physical with flying colors, had two follow up stress tests that have gone well, there are days that I feel depressed, lonely, and filled with unsettling questions. Am I going to see all three of my children graduate high school, college, or walk my two daughters down the aisle, and grow old with my wife? On a daily basis, what is that twinge in my left arm? Why am I more tired today than yesterday? Is today the day I fall down in a heap and will exist in this life no more? These questions hang heavy on my mind... Fortunately, I have my daily run. Each day I run I am reminded of who I am and what I was created to be, a man in motion. When I run I am free to question God and not be disturbed to hear his gentle quiet voice calm my anxiety. When I run I feel the pleasure of the simple joy of my body moving with all systems of my cardio-vascular network flowing with life. When I run my mind is free to focus on all the beautiful blessings that I have been given in my life through my wife, children, family and friends. When I run I celebrate the life I am living in the moment of the present as the past and future are non-entities since it is only the now that matters when one is in motion. Depression, anxiety and worries melt in the sweat that drips from my body and I am reminded that the best thing in life is simply giving the best that you have for that day. When I run, I am blessed. I don't really know what the future holds for me. My last stress test showed no decrease in blood flow, but a mild weakness. What this means, I don't know and will not have a clue until I meet with my cardiologist next week, but I do know this...when I lace up to go run I will be free to be who I am. My heart will pump harder and faster. My head will clear. I will hear God's voice. I will focus on what is good in my life. And when I finish my run I will be filled with a feeling that all is going to be ok in life because I have lived a blessed running life. As always, stay healthy, keep running, and I hope you have a blessed day too!